Songs & Lyrics

She hid out in the shadows, she shied away from lights,
She paid no minds to power, she didn’t get in fights,
Focused like a laser on the vision in her eye
of alleviating suffering until she said goodbye.

How could she have done it to so many be so kind,
while her husband, kids and grand kids never left her mind.
She touched on so many thousands who are touching thousands more,
with all of us she truly was a teacher to the core.

She isn’t in the shadows, she isn’t in the sun,
She carries on inside us each and every one.
If you think on something good to do, but fear is in the way,
Just know that Perry says to you “We can find a way”.

She isn’t in the shadows, she isn’t in the sun,
She carries on inside us, each and every one.

On a warm summer’s evenin’
On my way back from treatment
I met up with a gambler
His game was DBT

We took turns a talkin’
’bout how things were goin’
Whether I was changin’
Through my therapy

He said, “Son I’ve made my life
Out of hearing people’s stories
Seein’ where they’re stuck
And helpin’ them to see,

So if you don’t mind my sayin’
I can see you’re goin’ nowhere
If you give me some commitment
I’ll try to set you free.

“I knew he had me goin’
When I gave him my commitment
That I would change my life
Instead of waitin’ ’til I die

And the air grew very still
He sounded so irreverent ,
Said, “if you want to fix your problems
Ya’ got to look ’em in the eye.”

Refrain
You’ve got to know when to solve ’em
Know when to soothe ’em
Know when to suck it up
And know when to run

You never make no progress
Avoidin’ all the struggles
You gotta sit down at the table
And join in on the fun

Now every gambler knows
The secret to effectiveness
Is knowin’ when to validate
And knowin’ when to fight

‘Cause every day’s a good one
And every day’s a bad one
And the best that you can hope for
Is to go to sleep each night.

So when he finished speakin’
And vanished into nowhere
I knew that he had dealt me
Some cards that I could play.

Now every time I hit a wall
And think I’m goin’ nowhere
I focus my attention
On the words I heard him say.

Refrain
You’ve got to know when to solve ’em
Know when to soothe ’em
Know when to suck it up
And know when to run

You never make no progress
Avoidin’ all the struggles
You gotta sit down at the table
And join in on the fun

Refrain
(repeat)

Oh give me a skill
Instead of a pill
When negative feelings are here,
With something to do
I can navigate through
Sadness, shame, anger and fear.

Please help me to see
Just what I can do to get free
Of acts and beliefs
That while giving relief
Hurt my self-efficacy.

When life is a test
And I’m sorely distressed
And I can’t tolerate one more day,
I need skills to survive
Through a crisis alive
So I don’t throw my whole life away.

Please give me a clue
For accepting what’s painful but true,
To distract and self-soothe,
And this moment IMPROVE
‘Til the worst of the feelings pass through.

Can you possibly show
Me how to say no?
I never learned how it should be,
I can’t get it right,
I end up in a fight
Or I give up what matters to me.

Please help me to know
Effectively how to say no,
Using DEAR MAN GIVE FAST
So my friendships can last
Without sacrificing my goal.

So help me to find
My way to wise mind
Where Emotions and Reason are paired,
Where discouraging words
Just fly by like birds,
And I know if I’m scared I’m just scared.

Observe and describe,
Participate brings me alive,
One thing at a time
Leave the judgment behind
And finally just do what works.

Charlie Swenson
December 3, 2012

Can you hear the people sing
Singing a song of DBT
It’s a song of hope for those
Who live with sensitivity

We harmonize in Zen
Our tune is CBT
And the singers sing so
Dialectically

We climb down into hell
To find the ones who lost their way
We build a ladder out so they
Can live another day

We fight every day, every night
For the right to be free.

Can you hear the people sing
Singing a song of DBT
It’s a song of hope for those
Who live with sensitivity

We harmonize in Zen
Our tune is CBT
And the singers sing so
Dialectically

We stay alert for judgment
It’s our mortal enemy
We fight invalidation
Of emotionality

With wise mind we find we can
Fragilize minimally.

Can you hear the people sing
Singing a song of DBT
It’s a song of hope for those
Who live with sensitivity

We harmonize in Zen
Our tune is CBT
And the singers sing so
Dialectically

When I get older, losing my voice,
Many years from now,
Did you notice I already lost my hair,
I’m losing my mind
If it ever was there.
If I sign on to teach DBT
Will you sign on too,
Will I be cool when, I am just droolin’,
When I’m 92.

You’ll be older too.
And if you just say the word
I’ll be here with you.

I could be handy, teach you a skill
When you lose control.
When you don’t know how to do strategies,
I’ll model exposure and contingencies,
I’ll teach validation as much as you want,
Dialectics too.
Will you still listen
“Til I go missin’
When I’m 92.

Every summer we can rendezvous
In Middletown, with TIC.
We’ll go face to face.
We’ll bring grandchildren there with us
And save the human race.

Send me an email, tweet me a tweet,
Stating point of view.
Indicate precisely whether you agree
To go on meeting perpetually.
Give me an answer, send in a fee,
Let’s go ‘til we’re through.
We may be declining, but I’m not resigning
Until I’m 92.

Charlie Swenson
May 14, 2013,
One day after his 64th birthday
Written for his Advanced Practice Online DBT Class